I was boggled as to what exactly I wanted to share with my article lovers tonight. I had a plan, then one of my members commented in my self esteem website. Well, in short, my mind would not let her comment rest. It was a sentence regarding, “CONTROL”. Here it is: “If I can’t trust my spouse to keep their sexual promise to me why am I in this relationship? I don’t ever want to “control” another person’s life. I choose to believe in the promise until prove otherwise. Positive attracts positive." My first thought was,"WOW"! Does one really feel that they are controlling their mate? How does wanting them to just be with you, become a control factor? How does your wanting to be just the one, become a control factor? How does not wanting them to look, or talk personally to another person, become a control factor? How does making them feel like you are suppose to be the only thing on their minds, become a control factor? How does checking their phone logs, or their computer logs, become a control factor? Is wondering what they are doing at every minute, a control factor? Is questioning them on their every move, a control factor?
Is going through their pockets, looking for anything that might lead you to believe they are breaching their commitment to you, a control factor? Is deleting messages, they may receive on their computer, a control factor?Is asking their friends about a certain night out, a control factor? Is tasting them with a kiss when they have been out, a control factor? Hmmmm, how many of these questions, or worries, have you been guilty of? I really have to wonder who it is, that is being controlled with these jealous worries? You or them? I totally feel that jealousy is controlling you; if you can say yes to half of these questions, it is controlling you in a very, very destructive way. You are becoming caught in a vicious circle. You will search, and through that search you are allowing yourself to be controlled each time you apply any of the above thoughts or actions. It’s one of those “you are damned if you do, and you are damned if you don`t” situations. To not question and search, you are left to trust and have faith and believe in your relationship. Trust is a hard thing to do when you allow weakness to control your thoughts. To become skeptical with your heart is a very long, lonely journey to nowhere.
The author is an expert in an immigration NZ company and mainly serves for car rental. He is also good at fishing charter Auckland.
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